For August 9th, 2004
Celina Ashley
Celina "Zoloft Addict" Ashley lives in Fresno, California (aka "the NO!" for its desireability as being a decent place to live). It's not her fault, and why would it be, punk? She'll break free and do her own thing soon enough, so stop hounding her. She's an ordained minister, so if you ever need to get married or consecrated into the good, green earth, she's your dame.
"I prefer funerals over weddings, but will do either for a low, low fee," she says, popping a pickled human finger into her mouth. "I do fetish/glamour modeling and just about anything else that allows me to exploit myself and force the world to look at me."
People sometimes pretend to be Celina, but she waves them away with an imperious gyration of her wrist. "I know I'm supercool and all but do people really hate themselves enough that they have to pretend to be other people? It's really pathetic and heartbreaking. My new imposter is ditzy_deadhead. Kill her for me?"
"Er," she stops and straightens her collar, "kiss her for me."
Celina's on the ever-popular MySpace, she's got a livejournal, she rolls with a gang of ne'er-do-well rockabilly miscreants called The Ladies Of Cherry Avenue, and she's got her own damed Web site. Why don't you go check her out already, eh? As an extra incentive, she's got tons more pictures there (ones she wouldn't let us post here, for instance)! Whee!
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